"The Girl Who Wears Tie Dye"

I've been hanging out with a lot of different people lately, just because it's a good time and I love it. But, when I talk to them it's all so stupid. What happened to actual conversation? I've been using observation tactics from my sociology class and they are really working. I've come to the conclusion that they aren't unable to hold an actual conversation, but they are worried about the outcome of said conversation. They don't want to express something that might come off as "uncool". It doens't matter if you graduated from high school, you are still in high school mode way after that graduation day. It's not something that just changes over night. Some, it's takes the rest of thier lives for them to realize that it's okay to talk about your feelings and it's okay to have a conversation about something other than alcohol and sex. Now I'm not saying that I'm some big mature adult because I'm not. I would just like some conversation. Just a little chat here and there about life or ideas or something that made you feel something different because we have all had that and the conversation could be AMAZING!
I've started my book. I'm not going to say anything about it other than it's going to be a work in progress for the next 20 years. I have so much to do before I turn 40! I need to get started.

Unresolved

Today after seeing ,we'll call *Alvin* (yeah Sue I'm taking your idea, you can sue me for copyright infringement later) today, I went back to my room and cried for the 15 minutes I had to spare. These tears were unexpected, but I couldn't help it. I cared about this friendship a lot and I ruined it. I could barely muster up a "hey" when I walked past. I will put this on my scale and call this life lesson number 27.

U-N-I-T-Y

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f8cHxydDb7o&feature=av2e

Queen Latifah's rapping career was one that spoke for the equality of women.......Yeah I know it's talking about gangsta life, but I think it's still relevant. :)

Personal Gain

I realize that a lot of things that I have done in my life have been for me. How can I make myself happy? How can what I'm doing right now benefit me? But, now that I believe that I'm alright and I don't need to be constantly boosting myself, it's time to turn the tables. How can I make you happy? How can what I'm doing benefit others? I will call this step 2. I will use past expierences and ideas that brought me this far to make the world feel like not such a scary place and let people know that it is okay to love. Little things produce big results I have to keep telling myself that.

Perspective

I tend to never look at the ordinary without thinking of someway that it could be outstanding.....I see that there is no box and an infinite amount of opportunity. I'm not happy because I refuse to accept reality. I'm happy because I see reality as whatever you want to make it. It's like seeing the glass as half empty or half full, who cares! There isn't even a glass there....yeah think of it like that! I'm just ready to express everything that is burning inside of me. It could all sound like a big pot of unintelligence when it comes out, but it's my pot and I will love it! The biggest thing that I have learned is that every great thing that has happened in this world started as a simple idea. It would eventually expand into something marvelous like a caterpillar turning into a butterfly. I think ideas are wonderful and not to be tampered with. People tend to mistake brilliance for insanity...(I'm not saying I'm brilliant, just follow along). I believe these brilliant people refused to have their ideas tampered with. They knew what they have imagined had potential and no self righteous person was going to make a mess of it. It's a sensitive issue; this trying to make the world a better place, when most have lost hope....why? There could be a lot a reasons and I'm not to judge their choices, but I can try to change their outlook from negative to positive.....that will be my first step.