Sunday, May 24, 2009

Country roads take me.......to the damn interstate!

I need to get off this damn farm!!!
I am going crazy!
It is not my fault that I can't get a job!
And I am not gonna go work for the state road and get hit on by old men sorry mother!
I have realized that I have a ridiculously hard time letting go of the past and it is eating away at my soul!
My aunt told my mom it must be nice being as ocd as you your house is always so nice and my mother in all her glory says I don't have ocd I just refuse to live in filth like you!
Good News Weddings equal crap ton of milk jugs full of moonshine and we have 3weddings this summer I will be sharing come the first of September
I stepped on a peice of glass out by the machine shed looking for my aunt who done r-u-n-n-o-f-t
We found her about 20 minutes later walking through the woods..she said she needed to get away from her husband...damnit woman you have only been married 6 months
I ripped off the corner of my eyebrow using the stuff that I have always used and I am pissed about it.
Grandma Bertie says its high time I find myself a man. She said she'll be dead and buried by the time I get married. I told her that might be sooner than she thinks if she don't shut the hell up.
I caught the boquet of flowers at my cousins wedding and she rolled her eyes and said I'm surprised she even went up there.
I will tell her if she keeps this up sorry I didn't get pregnant at 16 and have a baby 2 days before her own mother did. I'm sorry that I'm just not gonna settle then decide I'm unhappy and get married 3 times and have the longest name in the history of histories.
Hi my name is Alberta Marie Brown McDaniel Williams Brown Curry nice to meetcha GRRR!
I will get married once and that is it...even if I'm unhappy..I can deal with unhappy till I make him some black eyed peas...just sayin
my cousin who is getting married in a couple weeks had her bridal shower today so she had her unofficial mother in law there..I tell you by the end of the night we had her scared to death....I can't help it...the bad thing is is thats my dad's side...she would have already been on the next flight outta here had she met my moms side home of the famous Aunt Donna.
My dad's family yeah we all live on the farm so its a constant cook out. It's crazy they are gonna think we're some crazy religous cult the way we hoot and holler at all hours of the night and sing hymns around the fire....my grandma and I the only altos of course along with the tone deaf brother mother and father and the cousin-in-law who knows 2 songs on the guitar so we just start making up words to amazing grace and country roads the funny thing is....hes from Ohio
I can't wait to get the McDaniel bunch out here they are the ones with the musical abilty...Now for the exciting part of the day......when my aunt took off I don't think she was meant to be found because on the way out the door I dropped the phone and the batteries came out they told me to hurry up and get over there because they were starting to worry, then I ran into the screen door because I thought it was open knocked the damn thing clear off the tracks, then I took off running and I slipped in the grass from where the grass was wet from dad washing his truck, then the dog had got out so I had to go get him and put him back in the house but wait no screen so I have to go in close the door and lock it or it won't stay closed..go around and go out the side door...I don't have any shoes on what else is new and I'm runnig I get over to my grandmas house where there stands 6 of my famliy members trying to think where my aunt could be...I was like well I'll go look in the house one more time and check all the closets. Well hell that was the wrong thing to do I went to move a stand that was in front of the closet and knocked everything of it and then I realized the door had been sealed shut and was just there for show. who the hell has a closet for show??? I then thought I will walk out to the machine shed and see if she is chillin in there...nope nothing there except oh wait glass for my foot to step on..... fuck you glass...so then I was pissed and I hobbled back to my aunts house and chilled on the porch swing and then I hear "what the hell, is that her coming out of the woods??" Aunt Nancy had pitched a Dixon fit and walked away around the property line she said. After her daughter, sister, and my mother got done yellin at her...she comes over and sits on the swing and says the worst thing about that walk is that I had flip flops on.....I just looked at her then I was like " LOOK AT MY GOD FEARIN" FOOT" she was like Hannah why don't you ever have shoes on...I was like 1 I don't like them and 2. your daughter called all in a tissy cause she couldn't find you. She was like I'm a grown woman. I was like yeah that was grown running away not tell anyone where you're going.....needless to say her and her husband didn't come to the cookout tonight. Oh well I had fun talking about the polygamists and the Duggers...Lord, sometimes I just hate this place! Now its time to say goodbye to Jed and all his his friends they would like to thank you ya'll for kindly droppin in......

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